


You Pitiful Asshole

by psionicTrickster



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gosh this ship is hard to ship, I guess I should tag Sol and Eri here too?, Is this a multi?, M/M, Multi, Tumblr Prompt, maybe? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-04
Updated: 2013-06-04
Packaged: 2017-12-13 23:50:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/830262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psionicTrickster/pseuds/psionicTrickster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But now… your just kind of wondering. ‘Cause, it’s impossible right? That both your sides feel fluttery when you think of Kar. That both the assholes that make up your existence would like the same tro-</p><p>You stop yourself. You feel like an idiot. Both halves of you. It already happened once, so why not again, right?</p><p>Your name is ERISOLSPRITE and you just realized that BOTH of your halves are seeing shades of flush for the same troll, AGAIN. Only this time, if you get that troll, neither one of you would have to be jealous…</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Pitiful Asshole

It’s been at least a perigee and a half since you’ve been morphed into this mix of two assholes hating both themselves and each other. Which means it’s been a perigee and a half since you’ve last seen KK- erm, your still-alive so-called friends.

You’re not quite sure why, but a certain nubby-horned land-dwelling troll has become a mostly-stable thought in your not-stable-in-any-fuckin-way mind since you’ve mostly-sort-of apologized to the Feferi part of Fefetasprite. Maybe it’s because you don’t feel most of the obligation you had to feel red for her/them, after all she was your sort-of-matesprite/flush-crush. It felt rude to forget the flush after killing her.

But now… your just kind of wondering. ‘Cause, it’s impossible right? That both your sides feel fluttery when you think of Kar. That both the assholes that make up your existence would like the same tro-

You stop yourself. You feel like an idiot. Both halves of you. It already happened once, so why not again, right?

Your name is ERISOLSPRITE and you just realized that BOTH of your halves are seeing shades of flush for the same troll, AGAIN. Only this time, if you get that troll, neither one of you would have to be jealous…

You sigh a little, and your self-hatred seeps in, because, honestly, KK has TZ and both of your halves were complete and total assholes to him. Only half of you even really talked to him. The other half just contemplated on maybe no killing him with the rest of the land-dwellers.

Your name is ERISOLSPRITE and your new flush crush has SUNK before it even left the fucking dock.

Back to being a miserable little fuck-up then.

==> Be supposed new flush crush that sunk or some shit.

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and this stupid-ass one and one-almost-half-you-don’t-have-time-to-do-the-exact-stupid-calculation-it’s-almost-fucking-ending Alternian solar sweep-voyage is finally, finally coming to an end.

All of you on the meteor have gone to the top-level and your all kind of just staring into the space your heading towards in a worried-nervous-maybe-a-bit-relieved sort of stupor. Except for Gamzee, nobody’s really sure where that little shithead went to. Oh, and Rose, the stupor she’s in isn’t from the fact your journey’s ending.

A pinprick of green light appears, and it grows brighter, brighter, brighter until your all surrounded in green light and the next thing you know is you’re falling onto a whole different planet.

==> Be a freak of nature.

Well, that’s not a problem seeing, oh, you’re a fuckin ghost-thing made of two self-loathing trolls.

After your weird half-minute epiphany and demolished hope, you kind of just… drifted around. In the distance, you see a head of black hair wearing some weird-as-heck blue pajamas.

Instinctively you come nearer, sort of just behind him and flip him off. He doesn’t notice and you don’t care so you start to drift back.

A few seconds late, a series of bright green flashes appear behind you.

You turn around and there, on the floor is… it’s… Holy. Flying. Fishdicks. It’s KK! No, it’s Kar. KK. Kar. KK. Kar.

You just stare at him and finally whisper, “Karkat.”

==> Be disoriented as fuck.

Done and over with. Next please.

==> Be freaked out by thing in the peripheral.

What? What the fuck? What thing in th- holy fuck, what is that?!

You turn a bit to the side and the first thing you see is this green thing, hovering in the distance.

You stare at it and you see that it has Sollux’s horns on one side and fishface aka. Eridan’s horn on the other. It(They?) also has Eridan’s weird pair of too-big glasses only the lenses have Sollux’s trademark (until you know… the blind thing…) red-and-blue lenses.

You feel a twinge of… something… for the green sprite-looking mix of your best friend and a guy you don’t hate as much as everyone else.

“Karkat? What’re you looking at?”

“Ah… nothing, um… I’ll be back Kanaya. Just go and take care of Rose.”

“Alright…”

You walk up to the sprite, and you kind of see his eyes staring at you. “Sollux? Eridan?”

His mouth twists into this morphed version of Sollux’s douche-bag of a smirk and he seems to have trouble saying anything before he says, “Hey, Kay-Kar.”

You sort of roll your eyes at him/them. Half of you is freaked. The fuck. Out. The other half refuses to acknowledge the twinge in your blood-pusher. “What kind of shitty nickname is that?”

He shrugs. “I dunno. Half of me w-wantth to call you KK and the other half ith making it hard by w-wanting to call you Kar. And, um, half of me is sorry for making you deal with some dead-looking other half of me. While the other half of me is sorry for not realizing how that must’ve seeing as you blamed yourself for half of me dying at some point. Hah, I should probably… just… leave…”

You see him kind of hating himself at this point and he's half-turning around. Not being able to express anything without the other half thinking its own opinions on that.

“Hey…” You reach up (He’s still taller than you like how Sollux was taller than you) and pap him lightly “Hey, shoosh. Look at me, fuckass.”

He turns to you and you realize his skin is way colder than yours and hour blood-pusher kind of jumps a little at the fact that you’re even touching him. That he’s real. “I’m actually happy I got to see both of you fuckasses again.”

He grins, a twisted morphed version of Eridan’s flirty-ish grin, and leans down.

You didn’t realize how cool his skin really is until his lips are pressed against yours. Your hands react and are about to wrap themselves in his hair when he pulls away too, too quickly and spazzes out, “Holy thhit, KK, w-what the actual fuck. Thorry, thorry, thorr-“

“Shut up and do that again, you pitiful asshole.”

He stops talking mouth open and he just blinks at you for five seconds before smiling. A genuine smile that seemed really fragile like he can’t believe this was happening. He reaches out and touches your cheek as if checking that you’re real. Then he pulls back and leans in like “Fuck that, I’m taking what I can get.”

Though, instead of saying that all he says is, “Ok.”


End file.
